No KO

The debate tonight was what my father always described as "like kissing your sister." Not quite the real thing. We are getting down to the wire, and one of these candidates is going to be in the fight of his or her life (it's nice to be able to type that) in a matter of weeks. But tonight was a tame shadow of what the final election will be like.

The real fight will be on before Memorial Day, but the Democrats are still not sure who their horse will be. I think the nominating process is going to end with more of a whimper than a bang. If Hillary makes a comeback (and the Clinton machine is capable of comebacks) there could be an exciting horse race, but it will be over quick. If Obama stays on his roll, we will see the end come a little sooner and less dramatically. The best part is that regardless of who gets the nomination, the fact that the race lasted a little longer actually benefited the Democrats. Nobody is really interested in John McCain right now - he is probably happy for the ink he got from the Times today.

Evacuation Day is Coming

You Are 88% Massachusetts

Wicked pissa! Now go down to Dunkies and celebrate.

How Massachusetts Are You?

One of the questions in this quiz is about Evacuation Day. If you look in the archives of this blaaaahhrrgg you will see that I am not only familiar with, but an enthusiastic celebrant of, Evacuation Day. In fact, I was just reading a book review in today's Globe of a biography of Henry Knox, the key participant in the events leading up to Evacuation Day (along with Ethan Allen and his Green Mountain Boys) and I thought, "that book would make a wonderful Evacuation Day gift."

I noticed that a few other people who took this quiz mentioned that they probably missed out on being 100% Massachusetts because of their dislike of Dunkin Donuts coffee. I think this is a mistake on the part of the quiz's authors. Nobody from Massachusetts actually LIKES Dunkin Donuts coffee, but they drink it anyway because the horrendous taste it leaves in your mouth keeps you wide awake through the morning traffic on 93 or the Expressway.

My Wife Calls it a "Wide On"

That’s the expression she uses to describe female sexual “excitement.” Men get a hard on, women get a wide on. As in, “Boy, he had a hard on for that Lexus coupe,” or “That Fendi bag really gave her a wide on.” And right now, Ann Coulter has a wide on for the prospect of a Hillary Clinton presidency that you can’t imagine. She’s either going commando or changing her skivvies every ten minutes. (Personally, I hope it’s the latter, because the prospect of Ann Coulter going commando is repulsive – even more repulsive than she is under normal circumstances).

The last eight years have been pretty desperate ones for Fraulein Coulter. What’s a woman to do when the ruling administration is to the right of the Duke of Windsor and John Birch? She’s had to stoop to the level of the Joe Goebbels Handbook of Political Propaganda just to get anywhere near the front page of CNN.com. Not like the late 90s. Those were the days: ferried about in chauffeur driven limousines, four or five appearances a day, that bony face squawking out of every TV and radio in the land. And people actually listened to what she had to say then, too.

Just think, Ann, what another Clinton presidency could mean for you. A target you could slander at will, without fear of alienating your right-wing buddies. You and Rush could have a field day, what with a Democratic administration and Democratic majorities in the House and Senate – EVERYTHING would be their fault. Hell, you’ll even be able to blame them for the weather. So keep right on saying that you’d vote for Satan before you’d vote for McCain. Based on your past history, you probably won’t even vote in the right precinct anyway.

This Just In...

Getting a PhD does not entitle you to show up at my office looking like you just rolled off the back of a Northern Pacific freight car, expecting me to treat you like the mayor, Albert Einstein and the Prince of Wales all rolled into one person.

Just thought you should know.

Stunner

I just checked CNN and haven't had time to get the details, but my initial euphoria at the news of Mitt Romney's "suspension" of his presidential campaign turned to vile, bitter hatred when I read the reason he gave. Am I mistaken, or is he essentially saying that if you don't vote Republican, you are a terrorist or supporter of terrorism? This is the most asinine, arrogant, repugnant thing I have ever heard from any Republican. This is worse than when everyone was falling all over them selves calling that racist prick Strom Thurmond a great guy after he passed away.

I wouldn't be surprised if McCain offered him the Veep spot or a choice ambassadorship to bail out now. You know the Repugnicans are in trouble when they have to gang up like a bunch of thugs to win an election. (But when do they not act like thugs?) Ugh. I should be happy, but I am just disgusted.

I went to the POLL and I CAUCUSED.

Well, I couldn't really caucus, since it's a primary. So I voted. But, I bumped into some friends who are neighbors, and we talked about politics, so that's like caucusing.

I am really nervous about this whole election year. I was supporting Edwards, and I think he dropped out too soon, which makes me think that either things weren't so rosy for him and Elizabeth in their private life, or some kind of deal was cut. The Clinton's make me nervous because they're shrewd, ruthless political animals, but I also have a lot of confidence in them because they're shrewd, ruthless political animals. The viral Obama music video/ad aggravated me more than it inspired me, because it is the kind of emotional-appeal demagoguery that makes me irate when the Republicans do it. It's the same thing as just showing the candidate in front of a flag with a caption reading "Americans are Great! Vote for me if you agree!"

The prospect of a McCain or Romney presidency really scares me, though. I think the Republicans are still attached to the concept of Manifest Destiny: "America is a world leader because she is mighty and powerful, and she is mighty and powerful because she deserves to be. Anyone who opposes this point of view doesn't just have a different opinion, they are wrong and dangerous. America's dominance and security are more important than things like free speech and civil liberties." I am afraid the transition from republic to empire has gone too far to be reversed.

Well, at least I still get to go to the polls and caucus.

Good Night Nurse.

You won't see much written about sports in this blog. I was the kind of kid you'd find at the bottom of a pile of jocks, and I preferred books and science-fiction movies to tossing the ole pigskin or hitting the batting cages. I grew up believing that being a Bruins fan and a Red Sox fan was just what you did when you were from Boston, whether you understood what they were playing or not. I liked Fred Lynn, Carlton Fisk, Bobby Orr, Terry O'Reilly and Gil Gilbert (the goalie, not the keyboard player for New Order - although I like her, too). Nobody really remembers Gilbert. He used to come so far out of the net he was like a third defenseman.

Anyway, I was saying that I don't pay much attention to sports. So why am I up at 11:24 on the night the Patriot's had their "perfect" season ruined by Eli Manning, some guy named "Plasticon" or something, and the fact that Matt Light had his head up his ass? I don't really know. This was the first football game I've watched from beginning to end in a long time. And I actually found myself smiling when it became apparent that the Patriots might not (in fact would not) win. I have always liked underdogs. I only wish I had put some money on the hunch I had.

It's all in how you say it.

I just wanted to start the month out by reminding everyone - it's not February, it's FABruary!!

That is all.